Letter to AZS

    I'm writing a letter, which I know I am not gonna write... if that make sense to you... and I won't  ever finish it, cuz I can't,  there's so many things to say,way to many... Besides you're still showing as a follower on my blog... are you? Still ...? Not sure... but I won't gonna risk ! 

    I will let go now.... I carried you so many years ... I'm tired on holding the ideea of you ...so I will finally  let you go! Is much easier in this circumstances, the one hwo replaced you is gone... It's a looong story, but you warned me ! You so did! That's way I can't write this letter, because you warned me... and I didn't leasen! So instead of writing it, i fill it with few empty words...

                      With all the regret I have,

                                                              JUST ME

LETTER TO I.R.

Dear  I.R. ,

     I've been thinking of you so often lately, I don't know why I fell like you screwed it up too... 

I am sorry because I'm thinking of you, last time you didn't like it, and you might not like it even now , but I can't hold it ... I just do... I guess it's because I'm too lonely, but sometimes I was doing it even when I wasn't, it just started to be worse now...

We could have been happy, couldn't we? I remember your mum saying she's sorry... the thing is... I was sorry too! 

I should have worn a white dress at your wedding, as I told you... I missed that 1% chance to make you change your mind, but I didn't want to make you fell uncomfortably, although, today, you would  have something to think about when things go worse with your's ...

I suppose our live is a compromise between what God wants and what we want. I'm sorry that I force it that way... I shouldn't... I wouldn't write this letter to you if I wouldn't compromised it that much, or at all ! Following God would have been much easier... 

Well...don't feel too special though...  I still have few people to send a letter to !

                                Whith a shabby love,

                                                        ME

Just leave NSA...

Vreau sa tac... desi nu-mi sta in fire... Parca orice cuvant e-o minciuna, parca orice zambet e fals! Stiu si eu... poate chiar viata asta e-un vis si maine .... ma voi trezi... si tot ce-am visat e cam trait altceva! 

De ce, cum si cand... nu stiu... Daca ma intrebi, dau din umeri si privesc pierdut! Nu mai stiu... 

Sunt ranita pentru ca te-am ranit... Ce iureş tampit, degeaba spun ca nu a inceput cu mine...

M-am oprit, la momentul cand inca mai poti pleca usor, a te iubi... inseamna a te lasa sa pleci, nu a te avea pentru mine cu orice pret. Iubire? Nu ...nu aia pe care o stii tu... ci iubirea mea... ea e diferita... iubirea mea e altfel... 

Dar azi... azi am tacut... poate ca vorba mea vesela tine de inima ta... si e trist... nu e bine...  Nu mai stiu ce e bine... 

Ma sperii, dau inapoi,  tac, evit ... eu nu sunt asta...  Asa ca pleaca daca vrei, nu ma cunosc cand sunt cu tine .  Du-te si fii fericit! 

Eu pot sa-ti ofer fericirea, dar stiu si eu dac-ai s-o intelegi tu... asa ca du-te.... doar du-te si nu mai pune intrebari... 

 Intrebarile tale ma dor pe mine, si raspunsurile mele te dor pe tine.... ce rost mai au toate astea...